That is where I am living currently, and it isn't as funky as you'd think.
I have settled in a place that is not where I want to be.
Yes...that kind of funk.
A year ago, I was beginning my training at a second attempt at an Ironman. Now, I am just struggling to go out for a little run.
It probably doesn't help that it has been brutally cold the past couple of weeks, and I am working 40 hours a week.
I get up in the morning, get the boys out the door, grab a shower, then head to the back room, and start my workday.
It is kinda nice to work from home.
When the work day is finished, I turn off the computer, and immediately begin getting dinner ready.
This is where the short commute from back room to kitchen is nice.
Then after dinner, we make sure everyone's homework is done, hang out for a hour or so, then it's off for showers and bed for J and B.
I will say that my husband has been awesome at taking on many of the responsibilities that I used to do when he'd go into work, and I didn't need to go anywhere until long after the boys went to school.
He pitches in with making lunches and assisting with dinner. Lately he has picked up B from school on Mondays so he can get to karate practice on time.
But I am missing my swimming, biking and running.
I don't think I was made to sit still.
So, a couple of weeks ago, I made a commitment.
It actually started with a Facebook post of someone I follow. She is a health and fitness coach in the Chicago area.
She talked about the difference between consistency and motivation, and how they are not equal, and really have nothing to do with each other.
Consistency vs. motivation. Motivation is the inspiration that sets us into motion. Consistency keeps showing up and gets it done when we don't "feel like it."
Using that as some inspiration, I decided that I would do "something" active for 20 minutes (or more) every day.
I would be consistent, even if I was not motivated.
I picked 20 minutes, because I needed to pick off something I can do during my lunch break, as well as not too crazy that I would burn out quickly.
So on day 1, I went for a 20 minute run at my lunch break.
Day 2, I rode my bike on the trainer in the basement. Day 3 was another run. Day 4, back on the trainer. Etc.
Day 6, I just went for a walk...a half hour brisk walk with my hubby around the block twice.
Now I am up to Day 22. I have missed one day, but during that day, I caught up on housework and grocery shopping that had not been done for way too long. Going up and down stairs most of the day, meant that according to my watch I hit my goals of climbing 10 floors! And almost all my steps.
Today I will probably just take a walk. I did a hard(er) 4 miles yesterday. One of my running friends has come over once a week to join me. She slows down her pace, and I raise mine. It is good for both of us.
I'm still figuring out what works. I'd like to get the movement in before work, but I just can't get out of bed. This is probably the next thing I will work on.
Ok, maybe. We'll see.
Until then, the goal is consistency. Keep moving everyday.
The other thing is giving myself some grace. Accepting that things are different now, and it is ok to miss my former life and workouts and kick ass bod.
Sometimes your friends need to remind you that it is ok to do this. It is ok to not have your shit together. It is ok to just be.
Yes, things are different now, and I need to navigate these new waters I am in. I am not expected to have it all figured out immediately. Nor in the first couple of months.
There will be days when it will be more difficult to get my 20 minutes in, like tomorrow when I need to travel to one of the museums I work with for the day, but I will figure out a way to do something!
Until then...show yourself some grace and keep moving.